The Queen's Love
by NajikaIce
Summary: It's the adopted Prince's first birthday since arriving in Camelot, but he's not feeling as excited as everyone else. The Queen talks with her son and learns why. AU, set in the same universe as "The King's Secret". No pairings, just child!Merlin and Ygraine family bonding.


**So, for anyone who's read my other story, The King's Secret, here's a little one-shot I wrote a few weeks ago to make up for my lack of updating on that particular story. I'll get to it, I promise.**

**In the meantime, enjoy some Merlin/Ygraine bonding! If you spot any inconsistencies, let me know, please!**

* * *

Despite the frigid air of winter nipping at everyone's noses, all the citizens of Camelot were warmed with excitement at the thought of the upcoming celebration.

Tonight marked the first year since King Uther came back from the forests with a young child in tow; the child, Merlin, had since been taken into the Royal Family and raised as a prince alongside Uther's firstborn Arthur. Uther and his wife, Ygraine, announced that every year, on that day, would be Merlin's birthday, as the poor boy could not remember what day he was really born. Today marked his seventh year of age.

Merlin sat by his window, leaning his head against the glass with little concern for the fact that it was freezing. His breath fogged the window and obscured his vision, but the young boy could still see the blurred glow of the happy fires blazing in town. Everyone was truly happy today…

So why then, Merlin wondered, did he feel so dejected?

He took his head off the glass and let his eyes scan the room; Arthur was out, sneaking a treat from the kitchens. A ghost of a smile flickered over his pale face, thinking of his trickster brother.

There were no servants or guards, either. King Uther had everyone working to make Merlin's first birthday in Camelot as extravagant as he could manage.

Merlin pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He wasn't cold- the fire burning in the hearth made sure of that. For lack of a better word, Merlin felt… uneasy. Perhaps sad? Though he couldn't imagine why.

His first year with his new family had been both joy-filled and turbulent. Surprisingly, learning all the princely manners he needed was very easy. He could already read and write, and speaking formally came naturally to the polite boy (though the same could not be said of Arthur). While training to fight had initially been a setback, when his longbow talents came to light, Merlin found those sessions quite enjoyable as well.

And, oh, his family! Merlin could not have wished for a kinder group of people to take him in. Not knowing if his real family was half as nice, or even alive, he found himself happy to just be with them, and they with him.

And yet, despite the fact he could claim his life was perfect, something kept nagging at the back of his mind. It had first occurred when Uther introduced him to the Court. The eyes of many a Lord and Lady scrutinized him, and were it not for Uther's strong hand on his shoulder, he would have run away. Later, whenever he roamed the halls without Arthur tugging him along, he noticed the disgusted stares some nobles would give him, before they quickly turned away and ignored him. It was only when Arthur's birthday came around two months before that he discovered the reason for their contemptuous looks.

"Look at that Orphan, running about in finery as if he belongs here!" one would say with a scoff.

"I was not aware the Queen so desperately wanted a peasant for a child. If so, she should have taken the dirty rogues in the streets," added another.

"He obviously doesn't have a right to the throne, what is the point of keeping him?" said the last, and Merlin finally shut them out.

Of course.

He hadn't told his parents about the gossip, or even Arthur. It seemed such a petty thing to bring up in the first place, especially when, technically, they were all right. He was practically an orphan, he was a peasant, and he was definitely not going to be King. He was an outcast, and on top of that, an outcast with the forbidden gift of magic! Had the nobles known of that, they would have surely called for Merlin to be thrown back out into the wilderness.

Tears began welling up in his eyes. He sniffed, feeling the familiar burning sensation blur his vision, and allowed a few to fall. Ever since he'd become a Pendragon, he had not cried of sadness once… Until now.

* * *

Ygraine wandered the hallways, nodding a polite, regal smile to anyone who crossed her path, be they noble or servant. She stepped with grace, as a queen should, making her way to the Banquet Hall.

It was exquisitely decorated; banners of red and gold hung from the walls, and beautiful white flowers sat in vases all over the room. Delicious plates of food were already being laid out, as the celebration was to begin in an hour.

She spotted her husband directing a few servants and walked next to him. They exchanged an embrace and a kiss for a greeting.

"Uther, have you seen Merlin?" she asked curiously once they had separated. She had not seen their youngest son all day, which was odd; on Arthur's birthdays, the young blonde would try to be in the middle of everything, gawking proudly at the décor or watching the food with a close eye. But Merlin had not been seen since breakfast that morning.

"I thought he was with Arthur, in the kitchens," answered Uther, who was inspecting a vase.

Ygraine shook her head. "No, I just saw Arthur. He was by himself, trying to get a snack. I asked him where his brother was, and he guessed that he was here, with you."

Uther was immediately concerned. "So no one's seen him at all today? It's his birthday, for gods' sake! Someone should be watching him!" The King was about to call for a guard when she raised a delicate hand to stop him.

"No, Uther, I think I may know where he is… Let me check his chambers first before you send out the search parties," she smiled.

He let out a nervous chuckle. "Right, of course." She pressed a light kiss to his cheek and walked out of the Banquet Hall. The room that Merlin and Arthur shared was not too far, and she reached it in a few minutes.

Her hand hovered over the door. After a moment's hesitation, she knocked twice on the wood and called Merlin's name. At first, there was silence. Then, she heard a very faint noise from behind the door and decided to open it.

"Merlin?" she asked again. She spotted her son curled in a ball in the window seat, nose bright red and eyes puffy. He hastily ran his sleeve across his face as she crossed over to him immediately, maternal instincts kicking in. Her son had been crying.

"My child, are you alright?" Ygraine gently touched the boy's shoulder, and he looked up at her, sniffing.

"Why me?" he whispered. Ygraine was startled by the hopelessness in his voice.

"What… What do you mean, Merlin?"

"Why did you pick me?" The boy tore his eyes away from his mother's, peering back down into town, where the civilians were preoccupied with their daily routine. "Why am I here, instead of down there where I belong?"

Ygraine frowned, brushing her hand down Merlin's face. "Dear, whatever makes you say that? You are a prince, why would you-!"

"But I'm not a prince, am I? Not really." Angry, he stared accusingly at his 'mother'. "I've been dressed up and taught to act like one, but it doesn't change anything. Even if I were older than Arthur, I still wouldn't have any right to be King."

The Queen's mouth fell open, as she was quite shocked to hear such things tumbling from Merlin's lips. She searched her brain for something, anything she could say to make him happy again. To her dismay, he pushed on.

"What if you never found me in the woods? What if I was just a peasant, out there, on the streets?" he whispered softly. "Would you, or Father, or Arthur even give me a second look…?"

Suddenly he was pulled out of his fetal position and into his mother's warm arms. She gripped him tightly, nestling her nose in his jet-black hair.

"We can't always choose our blessings," said Ygraine. "I don't know if it was fate or coincidence that led your father to you, but I don't care. You are our son, a Prince of Camelot, and nothing will ever change that."

He relaxed, just slightly, in her embrace.

"Some of the nobles call me the Orphan Prince. They don't say it nicely."

"Then we'll have your father put them in the stocks," she replied curtly; she grinned as Merlin tried not to laugh. Placing one hand on his cheeks, the Queen made the young Prince look up. "I love you, son."

He finally smiled, though his eyes were still puffy. "I love you too, Mother."

Happy, Ygraine stood up and offered a hand to Merlin. "Now, why don't we go see Arthur in the kitchens? If he hasn't been caught already, that is."

Merlin's small, pale hand gripped hers as he rose from his spot in front of the window. The woman and her child both pushed the door open and walked out together.

* * *

**Hope you lot liked it! I was debating making this a bonus chapter in the actual story, but I figured it would just disappoint people to find that it wasn't actually an update. Anyway, yes, The King's Secret is coming along, albeit very slowly, and I will admit that I've been paying attention to my other story, A New Legend, but that's mainly because I have been on a huge Doctor Who high lately.**

**Here's to you guys putting up with my lazy ass.**


End file.
